Death Boosh
by mehisfishtaco
Summary: Howard gets a hold of the Death Note and uses it to have his revenge against those who mocked him. Now L, Raito, Near, Mello, and Matt are all after him believing he is Kira. Will Vince and Howard get out of this mess?
1. Another Kira?

_I claim no ownership over the shows The Mighty Boosh or Death Note. Naboo, Bollo, Howard, Vince, Raito, L, Mello, Matt, Near, and Ryuk do not belong to me in any way. (Though I do wish L and Vince did. Then again, don't we all?) The idea for the fanfiction however, is entirely mine. It is based off of nothing other than my imagination after watching the entire Death Note series in one weekend while stuck at home with the flu._

**The Nabootique – Saturday; 6:30 PM**

The steaming hot clips ran through the black layers of hair, straightening each strand. Blue-grey eyes rolled in annoyance as Vince Noir looked up at Howard, listening to jazz of all things. He was disgusted, and his eyes widened with his traditional look of horror and disbelief as Howard Moon began be-bopping. He was in another jazz trance.

"This," Vince spoke up, voice clear over the loud ruckus of trumpets and drums and other nonsense. "Is why you never sell anything."

Immediately, Howard broke out of his jazz trance, he glared at Vince. "We never sell anything because you constantly forget to take down the 'closed' sign, you berk."

"Well it's not like we're going to get any business when Naboo's out smoking with the head of Shaman." Replied Vince. "Stationary village is probably scaring people away anyways, and that rubbish."

"What rubbish?" asked Howard, the older male completely oblivious.

"Jazz funk? What kind of music is that?" Vince rattled on.

"Vince, you're the one listening to Gary Numan." Replied Howard, he briskly crossed the shop to stop the record from playing and flipped through the jazz records (or what Bob Fossil liked to call – liquid disks of shit) searching for another one to listen to.

"What are you talking about? Gary Numan's brilliant, he has a pilot's license! How many of your jazz musicians have a pilots license?"

Howard looked up at Vince and opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by a quiet thud at the door. At first the older male thought that it was one of Vince's friends throwing Satsuma's at the shop door to irritate him, but it had only been one clear thud, no splatter of the orange fruit or another thud as it bounced and hit the ground.

Vince immediately rose to his feet, brushing off his tight black jeans and fixing the bright blue shirt the 'King of the Mods' quickly made his way towards the door. Before opening it, he made sure Howard wasn't looking and took down the 'Closed' sign that had apparently been up all day.

"Howard, check this out!"

Howard found himself looking over Vince's shoulder at a black notebook. White letters printed out the words 'Death Note'. Vince flipped through it, every page was blank.

Vince glanced at Howard and grinned. He always knew he was a great person, now he could write all about how great he was. There were so many things he liked. Gary Numan, Robert Smith… he could make a list of all of his inspirations right in that notebook. Taking out a pen he was prepared to write down his own name so Howard would know it was his. But Howard grabbed his arm and stopped him. Being under the belief that everyone was jealous of him and Howard just wanted to have the notebook for himself, he pulled his arm away and glared.

"Vince, that notebook could be dangerous, just look at the rules!"

"What are you on about?" Vince snapped.

Howard took the notebook and flipped it to the very first page, displaying a list of rules. The first one reading _the human whose name is written in this note shall die_. Vince's eyes filled with horror when he saw that.

"And I was going to write down Gary Numan's name!" he was shocked, disgusted with himself (perhaps for the first time in his life).

"What do you suppose we do with it, throw it away?" Howard asked, examining the notebook closely, he did have a few enemies but was he willing to write their names down?

**The next week; Japan; Kira case headquarters; 1:15 AM**

The police were all tired, they had been working nonstop, yet the detective leading the search for Kira seemed perfectly fine. L sat in his odd crouched position in his chair, hands on his knees with his bare feet in front of him. The television was flipped to the news, it seemed pointless really. He'd been watching the news for fifteen minutes and there was no talk of Kira claiming any new victims. Usually he was all they spoke of…

His dark hair a mess, and his coal black eyes had grey under them due to his lack of sleep, it stuck out vividly against his paper-white skin. At this point all of the police officers had fallen asleep, including Raito's father. Yagami Soichiro hadn't been very happy with L after he said Raito was his biggest suspect of being Kira. It made no sense to Soichiro, Raito seemed so perfect. Too perfect…

Watari approached L, silent as to avoid disturbing him when he was deep in thought, he held out a large tray of pastries. Rather than simply taking one pastry, he took the entire tray and set it on the coffee table in front of him. This was expected of L, when working on a case he was known to eat sweets, even more than when he wasn't working on a case. Taking one of the small frosted donuts from the tray he licked off the frosting thoughtfully, staring at the television screen. He finished the donut quickly.

Then they began to show the special announcements on the news, something that hadn't been planned on happening. There had been a large amount of deaths in the UK. Each one of a heart attack. Immediately L thought of Kira. But in the United Kingdom? Had Raito really resorted to killing people in other countries to try and clear his name? No, they weren't criminals, they were completely random people who didn't seem to be related in any way. Apparently they had all been last seen alive in a shop called the Nabootique.

It was an odd looking shop from the video footage they showed, very small and cozy, it looked like it sold just about everything. L looked at Watari, no longer chewing his thumb.

"Watari-kun." L finally said, his voice a calm monotone despite his eagerness to figure out if he had really been wrong about Raito being Kira. "I need you to purchase a two plane tickets for me, I think we may have another Kira in Britain."

Watari nodded, the elderly man immediately went to the computer to purchase the plane tickets. L decided upon two, because Raito had seemed so determined on catching Kira simply to clear his own name. He wanted to know how Raito would react if he really did catch another Kira who he had known nothing about. Perhaps he wouldn't be very responsive, if he was never Kira to begin with.


	2. Travel

_Once again, I claim no ownership to Death Note and the Mighty Boosh. This is all in good fun, I'm not trying to claim its characters as my own_

_A few notes about this chapter…._

_Chapter contains a shower scene – dedicated to Lili, the biggest Naboo fangirl I know_

_References to drugs/drinking/rape – this is made in a comedic manner, it's all in good fun, right Mikami-kun?_

_This is kind of a mixed up Death Note/Mighty Boosh universe. L isn't dead, Light is Kira, Misa-Misa is the second Kira, Mikami is Light's perverted follower who has a fetish for constantly cooing the word God into his ear (okay, so those last three things haven't changed that much). But Mello, Matt, and Near are working on the Kira case as well even though L hasn't died yet. I just wanted to find a way to work all of the characters I live into this fanfic. Sorry for any confusion._

_(Oh, and yes, I know I'm cruel to Mikami. He's always been my favorite DN character to mock, so you should expect cruelty aimed towards him in future fanfics.)_

**x x x**

**The Yagami House – Day Before Flight Takes Off; 9:30 PM**

Light sat on the edge of his bed, brown locks a mess, falling in his face. The notebook rested in his lap with a pen in his hand, a few names of criminals were scrawled out onto the notebook but not nearly as many as usual. Today Kira just couldn't focus on being God. Ryuk, the Shinigami, stood in his room loudly eating an apple down to the core. He grinned at Light and chuckled, his voice was deep and a bit scratchy as he spoke to the young human male who was so determined to make an ideal world.

"Is something bothering you? Misa isn't here to bother you, you won't be seeing her until tomorrow." he asked, despite his eerie appearance he had always asked the most childish and curious questions, he definitely wasn't a frightening God of Death.

"Ryuk." Light said, looking up from the Death Note, his deep brown eyes narrowing as they made contact with Ryuk's much more powerful Shinigami eyes. "If I am going to make this world perfect, I can't have people abusing the Death Note and simply killing people they dislike."

The Shinigami chuckled at the irony, Light was trying to kill L – world famous detective – simply for doing his job. "So, is the great Kira going to kill them?"

"No."

Light never ceased to amaze Ryuk, it seemed that he was one of the few humans that could outsmart a God of Death – L being another. "Eh?"

"I want to let the great L handle this, I'm just going to watch. I want to know how L works Ryuk, I want to know what he's like when solving a case that isn't mine."

"Oh, of course."

"I just can't help but wonder what moron decided to use something as powerful as the Death Note to kill a few people they didn't like."

**The Nabootique – Day Before Flight Takes Off 2:45 PM**

"Howard, I can't believe you!" For two weeks now Vince had been yelling at Howard for writing a handful of names in the Death Note.

"Vince, I didn't know it was going to work." Said Howard, exasperated.

"Either way, you're a killer! And people might start thinking I'm your accomplice!" Vince frowned. "That's not good for my image. Vince Noir, _accomplice in murder_!? That'll be awful, Mick Jagger never hung out with Patrick Sherrill."

Howard was about to reply when Vince's cell phone rang, playing the irritating tune of the song Cars by Gary Numan. "Hold on, it's Leroy."

After Howard waited for several minutes listening to his jazz record Vince finally returned grinning. "Well Howard, I'll see you later." He said, approaching the door.

"Where are you off to?" asked Howard, confused that his jazz-hating counterpart was suddenly leaving with a pleased look on his face.

"Party at Leroy's." replied Vince. "You can come if you'd like. Unless you'd rather sit around listening to your jazz records…"

"No, I'll go with you!" Howard said, he turned off the record and spun around, knocking over a shelf of merchandise.

When one shelf of merchandise went toppling down the others did as well, creating something of a chain reaction, like dominos or something to that effect. Vince and Howard glanced at one another and quickly left the shop before Naboo could show up in time to scold them.

**Fifteen minutes later**

Warm water ran down the enigma's bare skin, his turban (blue, because his red turban smelt of Tequila after his recent stag week with the rest of the shaman) was sitting by the sink with his robe thrown over the door handle. His black hair was shiny and silky, thanks to Naboo's special Miracle Wax, something he'd made himself that he even let Vince use occasionally – it had gotten him out of some tight spots. Brown eyes searched for the bar of soap, which he lathered all over his clear and pale skin.

"Shit." He muttered, a slight wisp in his voice, as he dropped the bar of soap onto the shower floor.

The shaman continued his shower, one of the few times when he could be peaceful and not have to ask Howard and Vince why they were acting suspicious or where one of his belongings were. Turning off the warm water he dried himself off with a blue towel and wrapped it around his waist – deciding against putting on his robe for the time being since the shop was closed for the day. He walked out into the shop to ask Vince where his Miracle Wax was, when he found himself witnessing a disaster that had once been his shop. A curse didn't escape his lips this time, he was too shocked at every shelf of merchandise being tipped over with the contents spilled out. His grasp on the towel was released, and it fell to the floor.

**Arriving in the UK – 7:30 AM**

"Ryuzaki." Light said with a smile, addressing L with the name he had been told to call him in public. "You are the worst passenger on a plane."

The detective blinked, looking at Light. He didn't laugh even though Light's words were obviously teasing, he didn't even smile, his dark eyes were filled with mild interest.

"What do you mean, Raito-kun?" asked L, chewing his thumbnail as his coal eyes watched the conveyer belt where their luggage would be arriving soon.

"You ate so many sweets, you bought so many sweets! How much yen did all that cost? I'm just glad it wasn't my money…"

L leaned across the conveyer belt, grabbing the handle to Light's suitcase, he handed it to Light with ease. Then he grabbed his own suitcase, speaking to Light from over his shoulder as he made sure it was their luggage. "It was only 8,935 yen, Raito-kun." He replied with a shrug as he turned to face the other.

"Well, we should probably get going." Said Raito with a smile. "Don't spend that much money on sweets on the flight back, Ryuzaki. Some of that money was mine."

"Yes, but those sweets are necessary if I'm to be of any use when solving this case." Replied L as he stood slightly hunched forwards, his long pale fingers wrapped around the handle of his suitcase which Light guessed was most likely filled with grocery bags of even more sweets.

"I wonder if this 'Nabootique' sells any sweets, it's been ages since I've tasted the kinds of candy they sell in England." Said L thoughtfully to himself, Light laughed good-naturedly.

"Honestly Ryuzaki, all you think about is your stomach." He said as the two made their way out of the airport.

"Raito-kun." Said L, ignoring his teasing. "Do you speak English fluently, or will you be needing me to translate?"

Light became serious as well, he shook his head. "I studied English, I can speak it and understand it fine. You don't need to worry."

"Wonderful. It looks we're only an hour away from the shop on foot, and I did research and found out that the owner will let us stay in a room if we're willing to pay for it."

Light and L walked for a few minutes in silence, both of them deep in thought, but the two of them saw something quite odd while walking. A man in a business suit staring anxiously at his watch then glancing at Light with a sort of perverted look of anxiousness on his face; it was terrifying really. He watched Light then ran up to him, the stench of weed and alcohol clung to his skin. Diving towards Light he immediately wrapped his arms and legs around Light's leg like a child. Immediately, Light recognized that the male had red eyes, and from his mangy hair and appearance and the scent of drugs he figured out just who the male was.

_Damn you Mikami! _Light thought furiously as the crazed older man nuzzled his leg. _Can't you see L is here? Why don't you just throw my down and dry hump me while you're at it!?_

"Light-sama, I followed you here just like you told me to." Cooed the older man, L glanced at the two from the corner of his eye, he stopped and watched them though never turned to face the two.

"Light-kun." L said slowly, chewing on his thumb thoughtfully. "I thought that you were in love with Misa-chan. Who is this?"

"I have no idea." Light said with a shrug "Just some drunk, he probably noticed my name on the suitcase."

"Kira will have his revenge!" Mikami shrieked at the top of his lungs, thrusting his index finger in the direction of a male who was stealing a purse from a young woman. "There is a Kira here now too! All thanks to Li-!"

Light aimed a sharp kick at Mikami's ribs and glared furiously at him, mouthing the word 'leave'. Mikami finally got the message and crawled away, taking a bottle of booze with dirty and trembling fingers and guzzling it down, sputtering the alcohol everywhere and spitting some into his dark hair.

"Let's go." L said, blinking. "This place has really gone downhill, it seems that the Kira followers are even more mentally insane than the ones in Japan. Maybe Kira is becoming more popular than we thought. I just hope it's a phase that passes soon."

Before they knew it, they were in front of the Nabootique, ready to find a room to stay in and with hopes of getting rid of this British Kira that had suddenly appeared.


	3. Wine Gums and New Enemies

_Sorry for the great delay in posting on here. I've been going through quite a bit of real-world drama that's kept me away from writing. I'm going to make a habit of working on a chapter each week, and I'll try my best to post one every weekend. Even more than that when I have free time._

**The Nabootique – 7:45 A.M.**

Light and L had waited for a good fifteen minutes before the front door to the Nabootique was opened by a tall man with a moustache with a face that reminded Light of a man's thigh. It was so blank, if it wasn't for that cappuccino stain on his face he may as well have been a pink balloon on a decapitated body.

"Hello there," said Howard, surprised to have two customers so early in the morning, Vince was still sleeping upstairs. "Are you two sirs here to make a purchase? I've only just woken up. Would you like a warm cup of tea, perhaps the most recent issue of the Global Explorer?"

"That is very generous, but-." Began Light, only to be interrupted by L.

"I am actually quite partial to a cup of tea." Said the detective, chewing on the skin around his thumb as he pushed past Howard and hunched forwards into the Nabootique. "But only if it has plenty of sugar." He added with a childish smile.

"Of course," said Howard, a bit surprised at how eager the raven haired male seemed to be. "My roommate eats nothing but sweets, so we have plenty of those as well."

L's grin widened, Light inwardly shuddered in disgust. The detective's smile was even more hideous than a shinigami's.

"I'll take all of them." He replied, pulling out a large bag of British money that L insisted would be used on a gift for Light because of all the trouble he was going through to come along.

"Really?" Asked Howard, surprised that somebody had a sweet tooth stronger than his friend's.

"Howard, what's all the ruckus about? I'm trying to straighten my hair." Called the British accented voice of Vince as his head poked out from around the corridor that led up the stairs.

"Vince, these are our customers. I'm making the biggest sale of the week to this lovely gentleman." Replied Howard, voice strained.

Vince rolled his eyes but vanished, after several minutes of Howard and L trying to work out a reasonable price for all the candy and Light sitting around bored to death, Vince finally reappeared. Wearing his red boots, black drainpipes, a leather jacket (complete with his KISS ARMY badge), and a Rolling Stones T-shirt he strutted down the stairs with a light smile gracing his face. The smile vanished when he saw the ratty appearance of one of their customers, and all of his sweets in a bag being held by the ugly man.

"Howard!" choked out the king of the mods. "What the bloody hell are you doing!?"

L looked up, eyebrow raised, and Vince quickly looked away. Howard grunted and approached Vince.

"What are you doing, you bitch? I'm trying to earn us some money."

"Why are you selling to that man, look at his outfit. Where's his style? His look… he doesn't even have a look. He's.. he's worse than you Howard! Look at that old ratty t-shirt and that pale skin. He's not even trying to pull off the vampire look. He smells like a rotting fish and looks like the underbelly of a porcupine. It's awful." Vince continued rambling, not even glancing at L. "If we keep rubbish like that in the shop it's sure to scare away even more customers than your jazz."

"Vince is it?" asked L, approaching the two, Vince instinctively took two steps back.

"Yes." Said Vince in reply.

"I do believe you should mind your own business since it's obvious you are not the owner of the shop, I think Howard here is doing a fine job." L then looked at Howard abruptly. "Light and I will be needing a room. We have no place to stay during our trip around Britain."

"Ah, yes, of course. Feel free to stay as long as you'd like, as long as you can pay for food you're free to use the spare room."

Vince had wandered over to Light out of instinct, seeing the well-dressed and exceptionally good looking male sitting alone.

"I do quite love your hair." Vince said, looking at the light reddish brown locks. "And that brown suit you're wearing? It's like a dangerous mix of casual and formal. And those shoes are genius."

Light rolled his eyes and rose to his feet, following L into their new room and leaving Vince and Howard alone.

"What the hell was that, Vince? And you said I scare away our customers, at least I don't flirt with them!"

"I wasn't flirting."

"Then what was that?"

"Well you weren't exactly hospitable or nice. Selling off all my Wine Gums and Licorice Bootlaces when I wasn't looking."

"Get over it, Vince."

Upstairs L and Light were discussing what to do with the two men. They needed a way to figure out whether they really were the ones committing the crimes, or if they were just horribly wrong. But it was going to be difficult. Because L had dealt with men like this before. And it appeared to L, that these two British men, were criminal masterminds. As dangerous as they are smart. Sure, they didn't seem like it, but L had dealt with many criminals that turned out to be smarter than they seemed at first. That Vince man, he was possibly even more intelligent than Light – who seemed just as mad at any rate. This was definitely going to be one tough case.


End file.
